Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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