i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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