some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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