I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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