What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
