You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
