I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
