This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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