I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I love you. Go after that dick
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
