I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
