Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
