my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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