I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
