At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
