he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
