Soap is not a condiment
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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