Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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