Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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