Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
