is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
