Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
