Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
