he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
