we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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