I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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