I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
