my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
