This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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