i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
