What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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