Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
