Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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