I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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