Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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