My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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