so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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