i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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