Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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