saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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