I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She even gives head with a lisp.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
