does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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