I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
