I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my sisters under your porch take her home
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
