My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
