she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I didn't notice because vodka
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
