i don't plan on having that self control this summer
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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