i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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