do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Too much gin, very little bucket
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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