Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
