dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Drunk is not a location!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
