all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
